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Local Wildlife Officer Cites Theory on Missing Malaysian Airliner

By Scout Pryor - Gnat Investigative Reporter

(JACKSON, MS)--In the aftermath of the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 on March 8, 2014, local wildlife officer Ben Blusterier has developed a theory on the mysterious happening that has been puzzling the world for weeks. This Gnat super-sleuth, while on a mission at the wildlife department, witnessed Blusterier explaining his theory while noshing in the wildlife department break-room during lunch with fellow wildlife officers, saying that it is the only explanation possible.

According to Blusterier, a huge dragon must have swooped upon the plane about 200 miles northwest of Penang, flying off with it and causing it to go off course. The dragon carried the plane for some time, then it became tired, and in a fit of rage, tore the plane into pieces, scattering it across the ocean. During the animated explanation, Blusterier waved his arms in the air while spreading his fingers from arched wrists in a clawing motion, whilst screeching and huffing, in order to demonstrate the dragon breathing fire.

Blusterier said there are several colors of dragons, and he believes that the dragon responsible for the disappearance of Flight 370 is a red dragon, because they are the meanest of all dragons. "The blue and green ones are not nearly as badass as the red ones," said Blusterier.

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